I saw a discussion of aroace erasure and it really made me think of your writing. It's not just that you write characters who are aromantic, asexual, or both. It's that you write relationships with those features, which are shared among characters of all orientations.
There's no sex or romance between Bennett and Joshua, but they share a deep male friendship and have raised their children closely together as backup parents.
Jules, Mariset, Drew, Glyn, and Jaliya had different types of tight connections among them even though only Jules/Mariset were a couple.
I do much the same with mine.
Ambrose and Gary are a queerplatonic couple. They're very devoted, but it's very much a spiritual relationship rather than romantic or sexual. Ambrose actually turned his sexuality off because he found it distracting and unrewarding.
Heron and Mallory are queerplatonic coparents. Heron has been ace all along, and doesn't seem to be romantic, but he's tractive as all hell. Mallory started out sexual but the gang rape completely killed her interest in crotch romping. It was never romantic for her -- she just screwed around whenever she felt like it, and now she doesn't. It's okay that Mallory doesn't feel sex would be worth the work of reclaiming it. But she very much appreciates Heron's attentiveness, even if it sometimes makes her feel confused or uncomfortable because it's so different than her past. She'll take the better opportunity and learn to get used to it.
Paladins in general tend to be aroace because their passion is for their deity, and that fills their life in the way that a family does for most people. So Shahana and Ari, Johan and Althey, have a mentor/novice relationship and some day the younger ones will grow up and take novices of their own. Their deity and their fellow paladins are their family. And I've only seen one person make a casual pass at any of them; most folks just seem to view them as guides rather than potential partners. That widespread social acceptance matters -- it's one of the few functional things in a very broken world.
I'm really glad that we have things like Feathering the Nest to promote nonsexual activities and relationships. A crotch just isn't the most stable thing to build a life on!
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Re: March plans
Date: 2019-03-01 08:41 pm (UTC)I saw a discussion of aroace erasure and it really made me think of your writing. It's not just that you write characters who are aromantic, asexual, or both. It's that you write relationships with those features, which are shared among characters of all orientations.
There's no sex or romance between Bennett and Joshua, but they share a deep male friendship and have raised their children closely together as backup parents.
Jules, Mariset, Drew, Glyn, and Jaliya had different types of tight connections among them even though only Jules/Mariset were a couple.
I do much the same with mine.
Ambrose and Gary are a queerplatonic couple. They're very devoted, but it's very much a spiritual relationship rather than romantic or sexual. Ambrose actually turned his sexuality off because he found it distracting and unrewarding.
Heron and Mallory are queerplatonic coparents. Heron has been ace all along, and doesn't seem to be romantic, but he's tractive as all hell. Mallory started out sexual but the gang rape completely killed her interest in crotch romping. It was never romantic for her -- she just screwed around whenever she felt like it, and now she doesn't. It's okay that Mallory doesn't feel sex would be worth the work of reclaiming it. But she very much appreciates Heron's attentiveness, even if it sometimes makes her feel confused or uncomfortable because it's so different than her past. She'll take the better opportunity and learn to get used to it.
Paladins in general tend to be aroace because their passion is for their deity, and that fills their life in the way that a family does for most people. So Shahana and Ari, Johan and Althey, have a mentor/novice relationship and some day the younger ones will grow up and take novices of their own. Their deity and their fellow paladins are their family. And I've only seen one person make a casual pass at any of them; most folks just seem to view them as guides rather than potential partners. That widespread social acceptance matters -- it's one of the few functional things in a very broken world.
I'm really glad that we have things like Feathering the Nest to promote nonsexual activities and relationships. A crotch just isn't the most stable thing to build a life on!